Loneliness is not a diagnosis, but a variant of the norm

Previously, unmarried women and single men were spared by society in every possible way. Women were called various bad words, such as “old maid” and were convinced that very soon they would be “no one needs.” And men should have shuddered at the thought that “in old age there will be no one to bring a glass of water.”

However, somehow it began to take shape in the modern world that the time for a family is becoming less and less. And there are more and more opportunities to get an excellent education, make a promising career, and receive a high salary. Moreover, this applies to both men and the fairer sex. And women, realizing that they can provide themselves with freedom and confidence in the future, began to think: “Why, in fact, do you need a husband?”

It’s crowded and boring together

After all, if the husband already exists, then no one has canceled the maintenance of the fire in the hearth. And the husband will not overnight cook dinner, wash floors and iron shirts just because his wife has started to earn good money. More often than not, he still comes home tired and wants his cheerful wife to readily throw plates and a three-course dinner on the table. And then she also did homework with the older child and sang lullabies for the younger child’s sleep.

Or vice versa. The wife sits at home with the children and insists that her husband do the same, and even nail the shelves and fix the taps. And a man is bored, he is interested in developing further – meeting new people, traveling, learning something new, moving up the career steps.

When there is love and respect for each other, you can always find a compromise – hire a housekeeper, nanny, plumber, dine in restaurants, periodically rest from each other in the evenings. But in some families, misunderstanding of each other grows and claims begin – “You have never been like this before!” or “Do what I said, and don’t do anything else!” And so on … As a result, people tend to scatter in different directions. And if a more successful and independent partner is rather freed from the unnecessary burden of worries in the form of a second half, then this very half usually suffers.

The camel has two humps because life is a struggle

And if this half is a man, then he suffers doubly. After all, a midlife crisis sneaks up, as you know, imperceptibly. Moreover, this age is getting younger and younger. Already at the age of 20-30, today’s men are tormented by problems of loans, debts, unemployment.

According to British experts, every tenth man experiences anxiety and perceives life
as a continuous struggle – you need to provide yourself with a high standard of living, a good apartment or better house, constant travel to exotic countries, a lot of free time. Moreover, the presence of children and health problems (and which men do not have them?) Only aggravate the situation. Such high ambitions are not always realized, and therefore depression begins in the stronger sex.

It is good if the depression goes away on its own or with the help of a psychologist. It is worse if the crisis is so deep that it leads to suicide. This is not just another horror movie – the suicide rate of men under 45 in Europe has doubled, while among women of this age and among older people of both genders it has fallen.

It’s easier for women. Rather, this is due to the fact that their adaptive abilities are more developed. And also with the fact that now she can earn a living without her husband. Any able-bodied lady can bring home a “mammoth” to feed her family. And if her education or work is such that she can bring several “mammoths”, then, having heard the complaints of married friends,
she may not want to get married.

There is safety in numbers?

There are many benefits to living alone. First of all, it is the opportunity to constantly experience new sensations, travel freely and have fun, make a good career. Why change this to a constant rush home when your husband comes home from work and constant everyday problems because of his socks? You can feed yourself with a minimum of food and sometimes close your eyes to the dirty floor. Together it is much more difficult.

Therefore, more and more women (men realized this a little earlier) enjoy the status of “single” today. This is not an offensive nickname, on the contrary! Now “loners” are career-oriented, successful and happy people who absolutely do not feel socially inferior. So, for example, in England 48% of the population are single and do not suffer from it at all.

But in Japan they are already sounding the alarm – the number of the population is steadily declining precisely because the Japanese have begun to bear fewer children, since they have begun to live more alone. But even if the Japanese are married, they have sex less than once a month, and you won’t have so many children. So schools are being closed due to a shortage of children, and experts express fear that Japan will not be able to maintain the stability of its economy in the future, the
largest after the United States at present. In this regard, the authorities consider it necessary to reconsider the position of women in society, since many Japanese women, having achieved success in life and financial independence, do not want to get married and have children.

But this is not the final way of life, but, most often, only a stage in it. During this time, people manage to explore the world and make a career. And only then, closer to forty years of age, single people marry and have children. The advantages of such marriages are that the union is concluded by two confident, independent people who do not need to prove anything to anyone. Of course, this has a beneficial effect on family relationships, the number of scandals and quarrels in them is much less.

After all, the main thing in a family is not who earns how much. Both a woman and a man who is better at it can earn money. The main thing is love and the feeling of a reliable home near by, where they will always warm with spiritual warmth and support in difficult times. Well, “there must be some kind of feeling”, where can we go without it!

Leave a Reply